I have been enjoying some time with my youngest child and
grandchild this holiday season. It struck me that my daughter and I have about
the same age difference as my father and I had. That got me thinking about my
relationship with my dad and how similar it was compared to the situation I
find myself in today. The biggest difference is that I thought of my father as
old when we were at this stage. By comparison, I don't feel old at all; perhaps
he didn't either, but he acted older, I think.
My father’s experience was vastly different from mine, so it
stands to reason that he might have felt different. My dad lived through the
Great Depression and served in the Army Air Corps during WWII. By contrast I
lived through the “Great Extravagance” that blessed/cursed most of us Baby
Boomers and missed being drafted into the service during the troubled Vietnam
conflict. I am also mindful of the fact that people are just constituted
differently. In one of my favorite Christmas movies, It’s a Wonderful Life, George Bailey’s father remarks that George
is different from his brother because, “You were born older, George.”
There are genuine differences between my experience and my
daughter’s too. I had Howdy Doody and
The Wonderful World of Disney. She
had Saved by the Bell and 90210. My married Rob and Laura Petrie
slept in separate beds; her teen DJ spent a night in her older boyfriend’s
apartment. My experience included Hippies’ free love and the mantra “sex, drugs
and rock and roll” as scandalous; hers includes gay pride and feminism as civil
rights. I knew of a few “bad girls” who were considered sluts; she is not
uncomfortable with the idea of “friends
with benefits.” I had a few friends
with whom I shared the occasional Kodak moment; she has hundreds of Facebook
friends with whom she shares every waking moment. I had family dinners around a
table every night; she eats every meal on the couch in front of the TV. The
times they are a changin’.
So I can see that she may rightly feel as different from me
as I felt different from my father. Likewise, I may be fretting needlessly over
the differences I find between us, yet I am convinced that there are some
things that should be passed unalloyed from one generation to the next. The
command of the Shema
to keep the law always before our children, echoed in Ephesians,
is surely one of those things. I know that my own reception and application of
the “law” unsettled my parents somewhat; there may be justifiable adaptations
of the “law” in every successive generation such that parents will always feel
that way.
The struggle to identify and defend the absolutes is what
brings me grief. I can see from the lofty height of six decades and a
historical perspective (lost on most of our current young generation) that some
of the adaptations undertaken by successive generations have been departures
from truth. No matter what else may change, one thing remains: the only way to
truth and life (eternal) is through Jesus, the Way, the Truth and the Life. As
I was so eloquently reminded last Sunday, the
path to victorious Christian living, the abundant life as Jesus called it, is
the way of devotion to Christ.
Historically this practice has been called “spiritual
discipline.” Whatever it is called today, I trust that if my daughter and her
generation seek an intimate relationship with Jesus, everything else will fall
into place. I know I can trust God to do that; I just need my heart to hear my head say so. The generation gap is not what matters; the gap between our Lord
and us does. May every generation strive to keep that gap as small as possible.