Long Distance Relationships

In this age of the Internet, long distance relationships are more common than they used to be. Previous generations had two options: mail that might take days or weeks to arrive and more recently, phones service was available that required long distance toll rates to connect. Today, I can email or text someone and expect it to be delivered within seconds. Video services make it possible to have virtual face-to-face contact at no charge with the right provider. Amazing.

We have all heard of people meeting on the Internet and ending up married, sometimes with less than pleasant results. Even with the ease of connecting online, there are vital components of a relationship that cannot be duplicated. Sociologists are noticing a change in the way young people interact with one another. They rely on and often prefer virtual contact instead of IRL (in real life) as they put it. Eye contact, body language, tone of voice, and physical contact are missing from online relationships. Those things matter.

Now, you might be wondering how Heaven matters in this. First, God made humans social beings. It is true that our interpersonal relationships were affected by the fall into sin, but damaged or not, we need social interaction with others. God’s command to care for others always has a physical component not possible in virtual reality. True, I could Zelle you some money if you are in need, but that seems hollow in comparison with handing you the cash or bringing you a meal or fixing your car. Caring for the needy online just doesn’t seem to cut it.

The second way Heaven matters in relationships is more complicated. This is why I was prompted to write this article. John MacArthur has been emphasizing the need for a relationship with God in his Strength for Today devotional that I am reading. I have been asking myself if I truly have an intimate relationship with God. There are many aspects of my relationship with Him that resemble long distance relationships. I love Him dearly, but He is not physically present to me. I can talk to Him in prayer, but I have only heard a voice response (I think) once. I believe He meets my needs, but there is seldom a one-to-one correlation between the need and the provision.

Someone is thinking about now that my relationship with God is spiritual in nature; therefore, it will be different from human relationships. True. But I cannot deny feeling the longing expressed by the Psalmist who said his heart longed for God like a deer pants for water. The deer can lap up the water; I can only bask in the knowledge that the Spirit of God dwells in me – spiritually.

MacArthur made a good point saying that knowing God is not sufficient for the kind of relationship we are supposed to have. Many people know a great deal about God, but do not have nor desire a relationship. When Jesus said that eternal life was found in knowing God and the One He sent, He used a Greek word for “know” that implies an experiential knowledge. We are supposed to experience God. I am a highly intellectual person; I know a great deal about God from years of studying the Scripture. But, I am beginning to question the experiential nature of my relationship with Him.

I believe I have experienced what Paul called the witness of the Spirit with my spirit. I have experienced the overwhelming presence of God in my life many times, but a meaningful relationship must have day-to-day remnants of the mountain top moments, I think. I sympathize with the Psalms when they ask where God has gone; why is God far from me. Knowing He is there and feeling His presence are two different things. Maybe my desire to have a relationship is enough. I agree with David that one day in the courts of the Lord is better than a thousand elsewhere.

I read somewhere that Mother Theresa spent the last decades of her life with no conscious presence of God in her life. Her ministry to the poor continued, and I suspect many were blessed by her persistence. She did not feel the blessing herself though. Then there is the popularity of the Dark Night of the Soul which describes “a crisis of faith or a difficult, painful period in one's life.” It would seem to imply that it is a common experience to go dry and seek water like the deer.

Maybe my intellectual nature has gotten me too deep into my head; you think? Maybe it is enough to want the relationship even though it is a long distance one. There is one bit of knowledge that should comfort me: I know He lives in me, and He promised He would always be with me. One of my favorite movies has Jack Nicholson agonizing about his difficulty overcoming his flaws when he says, “Maybe this is as good as it gets.” I get that, but I also know that it will get better. The promise that I will dwell continually in God’s presence eventually is exactly why Heaven matter most in my life. If I could just find those streams of water in the meantime.

Related Posts: The Presence of God; Merely Christian