Family in Crisis

What is up with families in America? Aren't there any parents anywhere who actually know their kids and what they are up to? Two recent news items compel me to ask the questions. One is somewhat lighthearted with a happy ending; the other is tragic.

Item One: Yesterday the Fox News Network burned over two hours of continuous coverage of a bizarre tale. It seems that a six year old boy was thought to be in the basket of a helium weather balloon built by his storm-chaser dad. The balloon escaped from the youngster's back yard, allegedly with the boy in it. Helicopters followed the balloon for nearly fifty miles while various news personalities kept up a running commentary of mindless speculation.

When the balloon finally dropped safely back to earth, breathless chasers reported that the boy was not on board after all. Then the real search began, only to discover the boy had been back home in the attic of the garage. He supposedly presented himself innocently to his supposedly distraught parents in the living room where they waited for news about him. I say supposedly (twice) because later that night on Larry King's show, the six year old let slip that he had been hiding in the attic because, "You had said we did this for a show."

True enough, this atypical American family has been on a reality show twice, and the dad produces something on YouTube. My guess is that this was some kind of stunt, either planned by the whole family, or maybe perpetrated by two young boys who accidentally let their Dad's fancy balloon get away. Being accustomed to make-believe at a high level of production, the two boys might have enough smarts to pull off something like that.

Item Two: A mother of one of the Columbine High School murderers is breaking her silence. Dylan Klebold's Mom writes in an article coming in next month's Oprah Magazine, "From the writings Dylan left behind, criminal psychologists have concluded that he was depressed and suicidal. When I first saw copied pages of these writings, they broke my heart. I'd had no inkling of the battle Dylan was waging in his mind." I realize that teens think many things, perhaps fight many battles in their minds that their parents might miss. I raised three kids and we all got through the teen years alive, so I know whereof I speak. But I would pray to God that I would not be so blind as to miss the signs that my child was suicidal. (My grown-up kids may be reading this, so I am prepared to hear from them that I am wrong.)

My heart aches for Mrs. Klebold. I do not wish to add to her sorrow by suggesting that anything she and her husband did or did not do contributed to the tragedy. However, the reporting that came out soon after the incident revealed several clear indications that the boys were not doing well. My question is this: If Dylan had been at the supper table with his family every night; if he and his father had spent regular time together in common interests; if there had been no sanctuary where a teenage boy could stockpile weapons and ammunition, would the outcome have been different?

I don't know that either one of these families is Christian. If they are not, their behavior can not be judged by Scripture. They may simply be the product of our sad secular society. But for Christians, the lesson is stark. An old TV commercial used to ask, "It's eleven o'clock; do you know where you children are?" In a day when most teens have easy access to private transportation, the answer is more often than not, "No." Sadly, surveys of Christian homes reveal that few families sit together for even one meal a day. My experience as a Christian school teacher (and parent of teens) suggests that most teens spend several evenings per week in unsupervised travel with their peers.

The Apostle Paul instructs Ephesian parents to bring up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. In Deuteronomy Moses asks parents to keep the law of God before their children when they come in and when they go out. I fear Christian parents in America are too much bedazzled by the culture of Madison Avenue and Hollywood when it comes to raising their children. Two simple steps could make a world of difference in the next generation: eat supper every night as a family (with meaningful conversation around the table,) and limit the amount of time and mileage teens get in the privacy of an automobile.

Is this an old-fashioned idea? Yup. And decidedly Biblical. To keep your kids away from balloons and bombs, crank up the stove and shut down the car. Ya think?