Strawberry Hope

It sucks to get old. Someone said the memory is one of the first things to go, but I can't remember what the other things are. I wish someone had remembered that I am not supposed to eat strawberries before I ate that giant sized double portion of strawberry shortcake last night. I totally enjoyed it until a few hours later when I began to experience the gastric distress. It wasn't until the discomfort hit that I remembered why it has been so long since I had eaten strawberries. 

I know; you are thinking how stupid that sounds. It sounds stupid to me too. But then I have always had memory problems as an accompaniment to my ADHD. Until I discovered that I have ADHD I felt stupid most of the time. Lately, I am beginning to think I am adding senile forgetfulness to my usual memory loss. Like the other day when I left the car's fuel door open after filling up. When I analyze my "stupid" actions, I can usually find a reason (not the same as an excuse).

The fuel door incident, for example, was on my wife's car which I only fill up occasionally. The other thing that caused my forgetfulness to catch me is that I was buying a car wash with the fill-up, another unusual occurrence. After hanging up the fill hose, I turned to the pump display to wait for the receipt I needed for the wash. Normally I turn to the car and close the fuel door immediately after hanging up the hose. The formation of a habit pattern is how I have learned to get things done without forgetting necessary elements. The wash interrupted my habit pattern.

The same thing happens if I walk into the house and don't hang my keys on the key rack immediately. I have learned that if the keys don't make it to the rack, they will end up almost anywhere, and I will be left with no idea where they are. When it's time to go out again, the key search begins.

I am wondering if and when I will begin to forget some of the other habits I have formed to counter my ADHD. For example, like many who share my special ability, social skills don't come naturally. Remembering names is almost impossible. I have a habit (if I remember) of repeating a person's name immediately when I meet them the first time. Then I try to comment on it if something stands out. I might ask how it is spelled if it is one of those names with many spellings. Even with this habit, I can forget a name in ten seconds or less. 

The other thing I try to do when meeting a new person is look into his or her eyes. I do this to avoid staring at some feature that might prove embarrassing or uncomfortable if I get caught, like a cheesy mustache or really big ears. Someone is wondering about now how this has anything to do with heaven (which always matters most). Here is the connection: there a

re many things that believers are expected to do which are not natural, like living in faith. We need to remember to do everything motivated by or built on faith.

I heard a great message last Sunday at Capital Church in Salt Lake City that really lit this up for me. The message from Romans 15:13 was actually on hope, but the lesson I heard was that without a belief in what we hope for, hope is impossible. Lewis Smedes says in Keeping Hope Alive that hope is comprised of a wish that I can imagine becoming a reality and believe (have faith) that it may come to pass. Living by faith means I have hope that my life will have meaning, that a family member will find peace, that a friend will receive healing. These are acts of faith.

The problem comes when our hopes are dashed on the rocks of circumstance. The lesson on Sunday was that our hopes cannot be pinned on anything in this world. I need to form the habit of hope, but remember that my ultimate hope is in God, not man. This "habitude" will allow me to weather the storms that reality inevitably brings my way. I must never forget to live by faith, and I can hope that someday I will be able to eat strawberries without fear.