What Are Friends For?

As often happens, three completely distinct sources fed me an idea I cannot get out of my head. Track one: I am preparing for a sermon on the passage in I Corinthians where Paul advises unmarried people to stay unmarried and married to stay married. Track two: a student working on an analysis assignment asked if she could challenge the writer's assumption that marriage was all about sex. Track three: a book I am reading for a study group suggests most of us in modern western society have much, much more than we need in many areas.

How can these possibly coincide, you ask. The answer will follow. First, Paul was trying to get believers to see the importance of blooming where they were planted, if I can borrow a cliche. Elsewhere in the same letter, Paul counsels believers not to rashly divorce unbelieving spouses as the believer may positively influence the unbeliever. In another place he says that unmarried people have more time to commit to ministry. More generally, he admitted to the Philippians that he had learned to be content in whatever state he found himself.

I had been thinking of the college-age young people I deal with regularly, and I wondered if they would happily hear Paul's advice to stay single. I wonder if the woman who desperately wants to have children or the young man with naturally raging hormones would consider service to the Master worth the sacrifice. Sex and procreation (or the avoidance thereof) may not be the only thing on young peoples' minds, but it is a big thing, constantly drummed into them by popular media (as if natural urges weren't enough).

For believers, the concepts of sex and marriage are inextricably linked. Sound biblical teaching insists that physical intimacy between a man and woman is appropriate only within the bond of marriage. Secular society has assaulted this exclusivity on two fronts. First, obviously secularists ignore the Bible injunction and promote sexual relationships of all kinds with no restraints. Second, by hammering on the already highly tuned hormonal proclivities of young people, sex is sold as the ultimate product in any relationship. This is false advertising.

While the pleasures of physical intimacy are a beautiful thing when contained within the construct of marriage, those pleasures are the icing on the cake, not the cake. The emotional and spiritual intimacy which ideally accompany the physical pleasures are the cake. Continuing the food metaphor, if I were offered all the flavors of a delicious Thanksgiving feast but deprived of any nourishment, I might consider enjoying the pleasure. However, if every meal I "ate"was similarly empty, I would starve to death.

We are bombarded with the message that sex is everything and made to feel we never have enough so that we are not satisfied with what we have. (That sentence finally conflates the three ideas I started with.) The most important thing we get in marriage is a companion; the Bible calls it a "help mate" in the older translations. It means a complement: a completer. A spouse is the ultimate friend. She knows me best and loves me anyway. Good friends are the same thing, minus the "one flesh" part.

If I were to contemporize Paul's remarks I might say true friends are a true treasure. Don't let the world "squeeze you into its mould" (as Phillips has it) by insisting that friends "with benefits" are the ultimate relationships. And to married believers: cultivate the rich possibilities that exist within the marriage you have. And in every situation or relationship, keep Christ primary. That means submitting everything to the demand of the Great Commission to make disciples. Developing friendships that encourage and strengthen our relationship with God may not be sexy, but the reward lasts beyond the moment, even beyond the season. Like to eternity and beyond.

Judge me by my size, do you?

So here’s a weird conflation of unlikely topics: Star Wars and the Bible. Okay, so maybe there have been books written on it. But the other day I realized the connection between one of Yoda’s comments and the “Great Commission.”

I have a picture I have of my grandson wearing a t-shirt that says, “Judge me by my size, do you?”  It hit me in the midst of preparing a Sunday school lesson on Matthew 28:18-20. As I looked at the passage for the umpteenth time, I saw a “therefore” I had not really considered before. Jesus said, “All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me. Therefore… make disciples.” I have the authority, so you go make disciples. How does that work? Your “size” does not matter, Jesus said. I have all authority (which can be translated “power”), so you need to get out there and let people know about me.

Paul may have had something like that in mind when he told the Corinthians that his message to them was not important because of its worldly-wise words, but because of its power.  (1 Cor. 2:1-4) Paul’s “size” didn’t matter; it was his power that counted. When Moses at the burning bush said he felt impotent at the thought of facing the most powerful man on earth, God told him to stop feeling puny; it would be a God-sized response when the time came.

I don’t think I am alone in occasionally feeling kind of small when I have to confront the world’s bullying of Christian thinking. How do you stand up to the “outdated myth” attack? Or the “opium of the people” charge? Or the “benighted simpleton” portrayal? They think they have it all figured out, yet all authority was not given unto them; it was passed on to us. That is what the “therefore” in Matthew 28:19 is there for. The Way, the Truth and the Life is not Karl Marx or Carl Sagan; it’s Jesus of Nazareth.

Yoda said, “Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.”  Change the line to, “my ally is the Creator of the universe… you must feel the Creator around you…”

So I go back to Yoda’s challenge: judge me by my size, do you? If I remember the scene where he said that, he proceeded to lift a 20 ton space craft out of a bog with his mind – telekinesis. I am not suggesting that Christians should take up that sort of paranormal activity. But yes, I am suggesting some type of paranormal activity. If we understand the importance of “all authority/power” being delegated to believers (I think that’s what Jesus meant) then we are all equipped for some heavy lifting, metaphorically speaking.

“Luminous beings we are, not this crude matter” – another great quote to take to heart. Paul told the Philippians we are to shine like stars in the sky. We shouldn’t just be in the spotlight; we should be the spotlight. Size doesn’t matter – it’s the size of who’s got your back that matters.

Kindergarten Rules

The folks we have representing us in Washington right now should read Robert Fulghum’s little book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. This government shutdown is revealing them to be very much like spoiled children who cannot learn to get along. Any kindergarten teacher worth his or her salt could straighten them out in about five minutes if they would listen.

I have linked to the list above, but I wanted to apply some of Fulghum’s ideas myself. First, “Share everything.” Power is Washington is meant to be shared. That is the beauty of the founders’ plan: limited government with multiple checks and balances. Power is supposed to be shared between the three branches of government. If actions speak louder than words, then President Obama is saying that he thinks he was elected king and the rest of us peasants must do his bidding, including Congress and the courts. If he can’t get his program rammed through Congress (like Obamacare), then he just orders the job done by one of the many bureaucracies the executive branch controls (like Cap and Trade). So much for shared power.

Second, “Play fair.” The phrase, “All’s fair in love and war” needs to be amended with the addition, “and in politics.” If Cervantes’ intention in Don Quixote was to imply that sincerity trumps morality, then the shoe certainly fits. The Obama administration seems to believe that their ideology is so important that its implementation must proceed regardless of moral, ethical or legal boundaries. There are many examples, but the one that comes immediately to mind is the recent scandal involving the targeting of conservative groups by the IRS. There are others: voter intimidation by Black Panthers, capitalizing on emotion laden situations like Congresswoman Giffords being shot or the Sandy Hook tragedy, knowingly sending guns to Mexican thugs, barricading national monuments and attractions because of the shutdown.

Next, “Don’t hit people.” There have been few reported physical assaults, I admit, but verbal abuse is rampant. Two of the cardinal rules of rhetoric are to argue responsibly and respectfully. Ad hominem attacks are supposed to be below civil argument. The kids in Washington need to be reminded of that.

Then there is, “Clean up your own mess.” There are so many examples of this I don’t know where to begin. The federal government has gotten so large and so intrusive that I fear nothing short of a literal nuclear option will ever bring it back into its intended proportion. No Child Left Behind is a mess; the farm subsidy situation is a mess; immigration and border security is a mess; Obamacare is a mess; I could go on. These are messes that Congress and the burgeoning bureaucracies have created. There is an old joke that asks what you call a lawyer drowned in the bay; the answer is a good start. That’s what I would call ending just one government program that operates outside of the narrow boundaries of our Constitution. After that we should go on to deep six the rest of them.

There are about a dozen other lessons on Fulghum’s list, many of which are a perfect corrective to the childish whining and bickering going on in Washington right now. I have not written much lately because I am sickened by what I see, and I see no point in endlessly repeating the same charges. I chose to write now because I stumbled across Fulghum’s list and the word “childish” seems so apropos. All I can say is I hope we can elect a few grownups to send down there in the next couple cycles. God help us if we don’t.

A Modest Proposal (Redux)

My daughter posted an article on Facebook about a meth bust in Park City. It got me thinking: why would anyone in that beautiful, fun-filled place want to mess around with methamphetamines? I did a little research and came to a startling conclusion: we should legalize meth.

I know that position shocks many of you who know me. I am a conservative Christian who is always quoting Shakespeare or Swift or some other dead white guy. But there would be several undeniable benefits to American society if meth were made legal. First of all, the same arguments which have convinced many in this country to legalize marijuana apply to meth as well: reduced crime, lowered burden on law enforcement, easing the over-crowded prisons, and so on.

People who have argued in favor of legal marijuana point out that alcohol use (which is legal) is far more harmful to society than smoking weed, pointing to marijuana’s calming effects on belligerent individuals and the slowing of speeding drivers. Much the same can be said for meth; it makes people feel better about themselves and when they drive, studies show that attention and reaction time actually improve with moderate meth use.  And besides, it seems mean-spirited to further traumatize hard working middle class families who are struggling in this troubled economy who have simply made the choice to feel better.

Speaking of the economy, legalizing meth would be a serious boon. First it would eliminate all those production jobs going to Mexico. Then, if produced here legally, it would be taxed just like alcohol and tobacco. Careful producers would not only be gainfully self-employed thereby increasing the tax base, but they would also do society a further service. Everyone knows it is dangerous to run a meth lab; hardly a week passes without at least one exploding in our area. The good news is that methamphetamine acts to self-select the careful from the careless. Anyone who has read Darwin knows that natural selection is good for a species.

Another benefit from meth legalization is the boost to the orthodontist profession. If meth were legalized, orthodontist schools should begin recruiting immediately. Additionally, the cash and cars that don’t get incinerated in the explosions of the careless producers could be donated to worthy causes or used to decrease the national debt. I know this is a modest proposal which does not solve all the world’s problems, but surely there are those among my dear readers who will understand my position.

How to Boil a Frog

The common tale says you can’t drop a frog in hot water because he will jump out. However, if you put the frog in cold water and gradually heat it, the frog will allow itself to be boiled to death. This is a perfect analogy for what is happening to Christians in modern culture. The culture around us has been becoming more secular by increments for at least a century and maybe even longer.

This has been occurring in many areas, but the one that best illustrates it is women’s fashion. I recently saw a picture of a public Lake Michigan bathing beach in Muskegon from the late 1900’s. The women were basically covered from neck to ankle in form-disguising attire. By the middle of the twentieth century, women were still covering their torsos, but the suits had become more form-fitting. No one needs to be told how scantily clad many women are on today’s beaches. The postage stamp size patches on strings hardly qualify as attire, bathing or otherwise.

I am not a prude; my wife and daughters have worn and still wear what we like to call “modest bikini” fashions. But I find it difficult to attach the biblical term “modest” to a bikini. Christian women who wear them (and the men who go along) have allowed themselves to be deceived by the surrounding culture into thinking that such attire is acceptable. The Greek term translated “modest” literally means “not chaotic.” All you have to do is imagine the hormonal chaos created in a normal male upon seeing a woman in a bikini. Distraction, temptation and outright lust are almost inevitable. This is chaos.

Hold on; I am going to make a turn that may cause your head to spin: I think the same thing has happened in other areas of our Christian witness. Science is full of examples; reproductive technology is one. I honestly don’t know the exact point at which we should have called a halt to in vitro embryonic technology. Once we reached the point of creating embryos specifically for experimentation, we had certainly crossed an ethical line in my opinion. Few Christians are opposed to in vitro fertilization and re-implantation, especially for childless couples. Perhaps few realize that multiple embryos are fertilized and implanted; if more than one attaches to the uterine wall, excess numbers are culled – aborted in point of fact.

Politics is another area of concern. (You knew this was coming.) Again there is a perfect example. The trouble began with the removal of the Bible and prayer from public schools. Then religious expressions were banned from public areas. Then the Ten Commandments were “outlawed.” Last year Obama tried to force Catholic institutions to offer birth control. We learned in recent weeks that the IRS was asking certain applicants to reveal the subjects of their private prayers as one aspect of their investigation. It will be only a short time before some conservative preacher is hauled to jail for preaching “hate” from Leviticus or Romans regarding homosexual practices. (It has already happened in Canada.)

I read recently that Missouri (among other states) is attempting what is called nullification of federal requirements of gun control. They are being tricky, saying the feds can only impose their sanctions through the interstate commerce clause, so Missourians can have complete freedom with guns made and sold in Missouri. Some states have tried a similar tactic with Obamacare’s insurance mandate saying the state has the sovereign right to control commerce within its borders. In other words, people are finally getting a sense of the near boiling point of federal intervention in our lives, so they are jumping out of the pot.

Why couldn’t Christians do something like this with abortion, school prayer and other religious freedom issues? There are still states where Christians could wield majority power if they wanted to. Imagine “nullification” of Roe v. Wade. Christians often claim they want to do something, but the problem is too big and Washington is too far removed. State politics are more easily influenced. One need only consider the effect of the Tea Party movement to see that much can be accomplished through grass roots organizing. Despite the Obama win in 2012, many states elected conservatives to their state houses and the US House of Representatives remained under Republican control.

2016 seems like a long way off, but there will be mid-terms in 2014. In today’s political atmosphere, it takes a long time to build a really effective movement. If Christians really feel the heat, it is time they jumped out of the pot. The task is daunting, but nothing will change if apathy reigns. If we wait until the week before the election to get “involved,” our vote still counts, but we will have squandered an opportunity to effect real change. There is another fable about the mouse that fell into the milk bucket; he worked so hard to get out that he churned the milk into butter and was saved from drowning. Whether frog or mouse, the lesson is clear; if we do nothing, we’re cooked.

My Will Be Done

Some events force you to think about what really matters: a personal tragedy like a house fire that consumes all your possessions; a large scale disaster like Hurricane Sandy or wildfires in the West; the death of a relative or close friend; these can narrow your vision to the truly important things in life. Considering our mortality or the impermanence of things should make us introspective.

An event that is less traumatic but equally effective in making one think is drafting a will. My wife and I have just completed the process of updating a woefully outdated will. In the years that have passed since we wrote our first will, several things have taken place which made the process of rewriting more meaningful. Both of us lost our parents in the interim. In my wife’s case, the settlement of the estate was amicable – almost pleasant, if that does not sound too cheery for such a solemn affair. My mother’s passing, on the other hand, wreaked havoc on our family. We want our will to prevent that kind of result if at all possible.

When I have shared the sad outcome of my mother’s passing with a few people, I have been shocked to learn that such family disasters are not that uncommon. A close friend is currently experiencing the meaning of “no good deed goes unpunished” with his family. Another friend narrowly escaped a tragic outcome a couple years ago. Almost everyone has a tale of the family squabbles that erupted after the passing of a loved one. A well written will won’t necessarily stop all the possible creepiness that oozes from the woodwork at such times, but it certainly can set down ground rules that may help avoid some.

Solomon wrote repeatedly about the vanity of collecting things that would eventually be passed on to others. He is right to warn against clinging to things that have no eternal value. However, on the other side of the coin is the wise distribution of whatever things may remain after one’s passing. Warren Buffett has resolved to leave nothing to his heirs, wishing that they make their own fortunes (or not). Some parents bequeath all their estate to charitable causes because they agree with Buffett or they realize that inherited wealth would ruin children who are irresponsible. We have three equally mature and dependable children, so we are dividing everything equally between them. Each person must determine what is best in the given circumstances.

A will is a virtual necessity for everyone. Dying intestate (with no will) leaves the distribution up to the state; that is unlikely to be the wisest choice in any situation. There are online services that promise legal wills for very low rates. I suppose they would be better than nothing, but my wife and I chose to hire an attorney because this is a situation where what you don’t know really can hurt you, or more accurately, hurt the ones you love and leave behind. A young lawyer at our church has a home based practice which allows her to charge substantially less than a typical law firm. This put personal legal assistance within our financial reach and gave us a degree of confidence an Internet document could never match.

The over-arching lesson the Bible teaches about money is that believers must give due consideration to its use. Creating a spending plan (budget), limiting debt, saving for emergencies and giving generously to the work of the kingdom are all good behaviors at any stage of life. Executing a will is just as important because it will assure the wise continuation of your wishes after you leave everything behind. You can’t take it with you, but you can dictate where it goes when you leave.

Vive la difference

If I hear one more person say there is no difference between Republicans and Democrats I may not be able to restrain myself any longer. A dear friend who is otherwise a thoughtful, concerned conservative uttered the damnable phrase just last week. I fail to understand how anyone with even a modest grasp of the big picture can make such a ridiculous statement.

Rush Limbaugh has coined a label for these people; he calls them “low information voters.” His theory is that either through disinterest or misapprehension this group accepts the sound-bite menu and talking point drivel of the major media outlets. Rather than taking the time to become better informed, they base their opinions on the six o’clock news headlines. This behavior leaves them with a very small slice of the news, and that slice is tailored and trimmed to fit the larger progressive narrative which colors all their reporting.

I agree with Limbaugh’s theory that Obama was reelected only because a significant number of otherwise conservative leaning voters fell into the category of low information voters. I would add that there are also many conservatives who have become frustrated by the gridlock that stifles even honest and true conservative politicians who do get elected. For my part, I think gridlock is the best we can hope for and not a bad thing considering the unappealing nature of the legislation which is being held up.

To make any real progress politically, American traditionalists, Constitutional republicans, Tea Partiers or whatever one calls us must not fall for the lie that there is no difference between politicians or parties. Given the current state of things in Washington D.C. the differences between parties are striking. Both sides are composed of flawed human beings, so there will be similar incidents of misfeasance and even malfeasance, but that does not make the two morally equivalent. The larger questions of what kind of government we want and what set of moral values we support do not have the same answers for both parties.

One could say that the Nazis and the Allies were both driven by flawed people. One could say that the Pharisees and Jesus’ disciples were imperfect representatives of their respective ideologies. But in neither case could one say that there were no differences between them. The same thing holds true in today’s political landscape. The two parties are seeing a different horizon, marching to different drummers if you will.

The entitlement mentality and moral relativism of the typical Democrat platform is worlds apart from the limited government and traditional morality of most Republicans. The willingness to shred the Constitution and legislate by fiat demonstrated by progressives is diametrically opposed to the vision of the typical conservative. Do conservative spokesmen make bone-headed statements? Of course they do. Will they occasionally fall prey to base instincts? Certainly. Did Jesus defrock Peter for his misunderstanding the program? Did Paul excommunicate the Corinthians for their indiscretions? No and no.

Sarah Palin’s Independence Day Facebook post draws a striking parallel between our situation and the picture of Orwell’s 1984. Huxley predicts something similar in Brave New World. Are we becoming so tired of the lies and scandals in government at all levels that we are retreating into a low information haze? Instead of Soma, are we taking a drug called Apathy or Fatigue with the same disastrous results. Jesus has called us to be working until he returns. One aspect of that work is to remain salt and light, preserving what we can save and revealing the dangers of things we cannot save. There is a difference among politicians; we must keep the light on those differences.