Disagree Agreeably

I have been asking myself lately if it is wrong to disagree with a fellow-believer. The rancor of the 2020 presidential election reached a level that I have not seen in my lifetime. The opposing views, conservative versus progressive, pitted many believers against one another. If you are a regular reader, you know that I am firmly in the conservative camp, and I have written forcefully against the idea of Christians voting for the progressive agenda. (See “How Could a Christian Vote for Hillary”) This has put me on the naughty list of several people whom I hold dear.

I don’t see how disagreement in and of itself can be wrong. The Bible does clearly call for unity, but unity is not uniformity. Because of our varied, God-given dispositions, and due to the variety of gifts granted by the Holy Spirit, uniformity is not possible. Paul makes this point when describing the function of the body of Christ in 1 Corinthians 12. We are not all the same, nor should we wish to be.

God had a purpose in making us each unique; the blending of our differences creates the fully functioning body of Christ which is God’s plan for this age. Using the traditional character types as an example, it is easy to see how each might react differently to the same situation. The choleric will want to fight; the sanguine will get everybody talking; the melancholy will worry; the phlegmatic will go with the flow. Put these four in a room to discuss politics and add their individual spiritual gifts to the mix, and you can imagine there will be some disagreement.

Because each of us come at any situation from our own unique combination of natural and spiritual proclivities, some disagreement about how to approach a situation is natural – even healthy. The question then becomes what is the essence of healthy disagreement? The first rule in all relationships is obviously to love the other even if we disagree. Biblical loving is caring about the other person more than for myself. This may mean backing down or giving deference to the other. (Phil. 2:3-4) If the consequences of an issue about which we disagree with another believer puts them or another person in physical, moral or spiritual danger, we have a duty to warn them of the negative consequences of their position. Scripture instructs us to do so (Matt. 18:15-20). This is also the compassionate thing to do as well as the loving thing. (For more on biblical compassion, see “More Than a Feeling”)

This becomes particularly difficult when our compassionate correction is perceived as a combative attack. As in every situation, we look to Jesus for our example of righteous behavior. While it is true as Isaiah 42:3 said, “He will not break a broken reed, and he will not extinguish a dim wick,” His meekness does not keep Messiah from, “bring[ing] justice forth in faithfulness." We have only to look at Jesus’ reaction to the harmful policies of the Pharisees to see strong feelings and strong words emerge from His meek character. Our Lord’s disagreement with the religious leaders of His day angered them to the point of seeking His death.

I see a parallel in the present day. If I express a biblical view of certain things, I will encounter strong disagreement from those with different opinions. These disagreements are not limited to non-believers only. If I denounce homosexuality based on Deuteronomy and Romans, I am branded as a homophobe even by some who call themselves Christians. If I decry the murderous policies of unrestricted abortion, I am called a misogynist. If I say it is not the government’s job to provide welfare for non-citizens, I am a labeled xenophobe. Each of these positions has sound biblical backing, and my disagreement with my fellow-believers flows from the Scriptural directive to teach, reprove, correct and train in righteousness. (2 Tim. 3:16)

The Apostle Paul had disagreements with people inside and outside of the church. His two letters to the Corinthian church are primarily corrective of misunderstandings and misinterpretations of his teaching. Paul’s teachings now represent a large portion of our New Testament, having been written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. This fact brings up a critical question regarding differences that stem from Scriptural interpretation. I once had a discussion with a young lady about the biblical position against homosexuality. Her more open-minded position contrasted with my biblical accusation of the behavior as sin. The discussion ended with her declaration that my position was just “my interpretation.”

And she was right. It just happens that “my interpretation” was correct. (See “The Importance of Being Right”) Because we must follow accepted hermeneutical standards and use logical principles of literary understanding, it is possible to claim that one’s interpretation of a Scriptural principle is correct. (See “Answering Rob Bell”) When that interpretation places one believer in disagreement with another believer, sparks often fly. The correct way to deal with the situation would be to have a cool-headed discussion of the salient interpretive principles. Because truth is absolute, and because logic demands that contradictory “truths” cannot co-exist, one person in the disagreement must admit to being mistaken. The result may be a “beam and mote” controversy with each believing the other is wrong.

As a last option, agreeing to disagree, while not ideal, can be the best outcome. I have seen relationships endure for many years with the understanding that certain topics are off limits because of a disagreement. As I mentioned earlier, if there is grave danger in one of the positions, and if dire consequences may result from holding that position, and yet the warning is not heeded, it is painful to stand by and watch the train wreck. In the aftermath, it is difficult not to say, “I told you so.” The best one can hope is that the negative consequences will bring about a change of mind in the one who suffers, assuming the consequences were not deadly.

Sometimes loving someone means having to watch them make serious mistakes brought about by unheeded correction. The collateral damage of “tough love” reaches both the loved and the lover. Jesus wept when He looked upon Jerusalem and the people who were about to turn against Him and call for His execution. Our Savior submitted to God’s will and bore the consequences, “for the joy that was set before Him.” (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Every disagreement will not be resolved in this life. An agreeable disagreement may be painful. We take consolation in the fact that the lives of both parties to a dispute are in the same Heavenly Hands. There may be no resolution to some disagreements, but as Paul told the Philippians (1:27-30), while believers may have their differences, eventually there will be unity when we all stand before the Lord.

Related Posts: “What’s Wrong with Politics in America”; “Beware of Bowlegged Politicians”; “The Uncorrupted Life”