You Have Heard That It Was Said

I am having an ongoing discussion with a neighbor about the treatment of homosexuals by the church. My neighbor is really stretching me to think more deeply about how Christians should deal with the LGBTQ+ issues that are raging in our society and the church at this point in history. If you have read my earlier posts on this subject, you know that I think the Levitical and New Testament prohibitions against sexual perversions still stand. What I am struggling with is how to apply the biblical standards in a loving manner. I am not in favor of stoning gays or, for that matter, adulterers and disobedient children either. I am trying to find that ground where Jesus stood when He said, “You have heard that it was said… but I say unto you.”

I heard Charles Spurgeon calling my name this morning when he drew from the Levitical call for just weights and measures. He said, “Those weights with which we measure our doctrinal belief, are they quite fair? The doctrines of grace should have the same weight with us as the precepts of the word, no more and no less; but it is to be feared that with many one scale or the other is unfairly weighted.” I have self-corrected in the past by remembering that Jesus said our love, not our doctrine, would be the mark of His disciples. The gracious, loving attitude of my neighbor leads him to say that God blesses committed same-sex relationships today with the same measure as He blesses traditional marriages. I struggle with this.

My neighbor pointed to King David as an example of a sinner who was still accepted by God. After thinking about that, I said in an earlier post that King David’s wayward behavior was forgiven by God because of the repentance we see in Psalm 51. I said that practicing homosexuals could not expect that same treatment since they continue unrepentant in their sin because they don’t think it is sin. As I thought about David’s situation, I realized too that although he did earn the title “man after God’s own heart,” he also had a miserable family life due at least in part to his failure to adhere to God’s standard of marriage: one man, one woman for life. Incest, murder, and rebellion plagued the family of the man after God’s own heart. God accepted David by grace, but the consequences of David’s poor choices were not eliminated.

I have no trouble saying that God graciously accepts homosexuals in their fallen condition exactly the way He accepts me in my fallen condition. All God’s children are imperfect people following the Father’s will to the best of their ability. The misbehavior of the church on this issue stems from the placement of homosexual sin in a different category than all other sin. Adultery used to be in a separate category as well; remember the Scarlet Letter. Hawthorne did not invent a fictional attitude; it prevailed in the church for centuries. Self-righteousness is also a sin, one which often goes not just unrecognized but applauded.

My daily Bible reading had me in Romans 14 the other day. That is the passage where Paul called believers who would not eat meat “weaker brothers.” Paul counselled the stronger brothers to accept the weaker without judgment. I have often imagined myself in the stronger category over the years when dealing with gray areas of Christian behavior. Today I wonder if I am the weaker brother because I cannot abide my stronger brother’s acceptance of the believer who is in a same-sex relationship. I think the relationships are sinful; my neighbor does not. My neighbor believes we have moved beyond the need to censure those relationships much like the people who moved past the problem of meat sacrificed to idols. I don’t know if these are equivalent situations.

Refusing to eat meat in the first century church arose from a desire to distance oneself from anything to do with an idol’s temple. The butchers of the day were often selling meat from animals that had been sacrificed to an idol. Avoiding that meat was seen as a righteous act. Paul made it clear that there was nothing inherently wrong with eating the meat, but he also said that those who disagreed with him were to be honored for their opinion. In my case, I am watching my neighbor partake of the meat when I am not sure the restriction has been removed. But even if the restriction still stands, I need to love the eaters and allow God to exercise judgment if any is needed. My dilemma is whether my love must give license to the questionable behavior.

I realize it sounds hollow to my fellow-believers to say I love them while condemning an act they don’t see as sin. I suppose I could keep my mouth shut (leave the judgment to God) and live at peace with them as brothers. I am doing this very thing with a long-time friend who was divorced under questionable circumstances and is now remarried. If his divorce was simply a matter of inconvenience, he is living in adultery, but I have not shared my opinion with him. I smiled and congratulated him when he told me of his second marriage. Then there are the gluttons I break bread with but don’t break fellowship. There are plenty of people alongside me in the pews who have fallen prey to materialism and try to serve God and mammon; I have not challenged any of them. I have to ask myself if I am being a hypocrite.

The reason I am holding back on full acceptance of same-sex relationships is because there is a principle involved in the same-sex relationship that I believe draws on the original command of God in the Garden of Eden. I believe God directed Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply so that His family on earth would grow. Adam and Steve can’t do that. Ten thousand years of experience prove that strong families are the foundation of strong societies. I know that it is possible for same-sex couples to adopt and provide a nurturing environment for children. However, sociologists have found that the ideal child-rearing situation includes a healthy marriage with a mother and a father in the house. There are good reasons to favor that kind of arrangement both biblically and sociologically.

The church has not escaped the effects of the cultural collapse that has multiplied the number of single-parent families and highly dysfunctional families. I don’t believe promoting same-sex marriage is going to move us closer to a healthier church or a more godly society. But neither do I think we should demonize same-sex relationships as if they were the worst thing a believer could do. If it appears to you that I am dancing around the idea of condoning same-sex relationships, you are a careful reader. I am not there yet. However, I am convinced that we need to move closer to my neighbor’s viewpoint and get over the hypocritical judgement of everything that is associated with LGBTQ+ arrangements. I can’t favor them, but I can’t excommunicate them either. Now if only they would stop demonizing Christians and forcing their beliefs on us!

Related posts: How Do You Read Paul; Clobber the Argument; The Uncomfortable Subject