Let’s Get Intimate

I have just finished reading a book by John Eldridge, Waking the Dead. He reminded me in a very poignant way of the importance of small group fellowship in our church relationships. I want to quote a lengthy passage from Eldridge because I couldn’t say it better or more concisely.

Eldridge asserts that true biblical discipleship is: “something we learn, and grow into, and offer one another, within a small fellowship. We hear each other’s stories. We discover each other’s glories. We learn to walk with God together. We pray for each other’s healing. We cover each other’s backs. This small core fellowship is the essential ingredient for the Christian life. Jesus modeled it for us for a reason. Sure, he spoke to the masses. But he lived in a little platoon, a small fellowship of friends and allies. His followers took his example and lived this way too….

“Church is not a building; Church is not an event that takes place on Sundays. I know, it’s how we’ve come to think of it. “I go to First Baptist.” “We are members of St. Luke’s.” “Is it time to go to church?” Much to our surprise, that is not how the Bible uses the term. Not at all. Certainly, the body of Christ is a vast throng, millions of people around the globe. But when Scripture talks about church it means community. The little fellowships of the heart that are outposts of the kingdom. A shared life. They worship together, eat together, pray for one another, go on quests together. They hang out together, in each other’s homes….

“Anytime an army goes to war, or an expedition takes to the field, it breaks down into little platoons and squads.  And every chronicle of war or quest will tell you that the men and women who fought so bravely fought for each other. That’s where the acts of heroism and sacrifice take place because that’s where the devotion is. You simply cannot be devoted to a mass of people; devotion takes place in small units, just as in family.”

The next question then arises: how many people constitute a “small” group? Eldridge quotes Brother Andrew as saying, “A group is the right size, I would guess, when each member can pray for every other member, individually and by name.” Unless you attend a really small church – a house church maybe – that means dividing the Sunday crowd into much smaller groups. Some large churches are pretty good at accomplishing this, although I doubt many of the groups reach the level of intimacy Eldridge recommends.

I think the creation of these groups needs to be organic rather than organizational. What I mean is the church leaders cannot assign people to a group and expect the kind of intimacy that is essential to the purpose of the group. I have begun praying and wracking my brain to think of a way to accomplish this. The concept of a neighborhood church is long past, attenders usually coming from far and wide to sit in the church of their choosing. This means that people don’t spend the weekdays sharing life with their fellow-attendees and then gather for Sunday “church” like they used to. Honestly, that wouldn’t work today anyway since few of us are close, intimately close to our physical neighbors.

The only idea that comes to mind is having more “fellowship time” at the regular meetings of the church, Sunday morning primarily since that is when the largest percentage of attendees will be present. You can’t force people to join in fellowship, although offering food usually draws a pretty good crowd. One of the churches I have attended in the past had a virtual coffee shop – beverages and pastries – available before each service. I know it sounds like commercializing the ministry, but everything was offered free of charge, and the intended purpose was to “force” fellowship. And it worked to a great degree. After a few weeks, natural groupings developed based on mutual interests or life situations. The last church I attended in Michigan had a small version of the coffee house model, and you could see people making little clutches every week. Unfortunately, not many of them grew into the discipleship vehicle Eldridge was imagining.

I suppose the church leaders could impose some organizational pressure on the fellowship expectations by recommending that the Sunday morning organic groups meet again sometime during the remainder of the week for deeper and more meaningful time together. I know that sounds forced, but I am at a loss to think of anything else at the moment. Despite the lack of a brilliant idea, I still want to recommend strongly that everyone who considers him/herself to be a member of Christ’s body find a way to get in a small group. I will also recommend Eldridge’s book.

To quote Eldridge again: “I’m not suggesting you not do whatever it is you do on Sunday mornings. I’m simply helping you accept reality – whatever else you do, you must have a small fellowship to walk with you and fight with you and bandage your wounds…. This is essential. This is what the Scriptures urge us to do. First. Foremost. Not as an addition to Sunday. Before anything else.” I want to have a group like that at my church. Don’t you?

Related posts: What is the Church?;  Why Bother With Church?