What Were You Thinking

I am starting a new full-time job this month. This means I am un-retiring for the third time. It is not because I was unhappy with retirement. On the contrary, I was mostly happy with my situation. My wife and I were living the dream as far as many people would see it. We own a large RV which is stationary in Arizona, and we have a smaller trailer that we travel with during the hot summer months. This allows us to visit friends and family in Michigan and to see the sights across the country.

We are in our thirteenth year of full-time RV living, having taken a one-year break from the road to attempt the creation of a sober living home for women. (For details see “Grace Realized”) When we began travelling, my wife had retired, and I was teaching part-time at a college that had quarterly terms, so I could take one term off during the winter to escape the snow. We went through about forty of the lower forty-eight states in our first few winter excursions. On one of our early trips, we followed Route 66 as far as Kingman, Arizona. (See Route 66 Adventure) We spent the first three winters in Mesquite, Nevada. After one winter in Salt Lake City to help our daughter with her new baby, we settled in the Kingman/Golden Valley area of Arizona as our winter getaway.

From Golden Valley, it is a short climb through Union Pass to Bullhead City. We did much of our shopping and restaurant visiting there, so we looked for a place to park more permanently. The first place we looked was managed by a thoroughly Christian couple who were endeavoring to build a Christian community in the park. They “just happened” to have a fifth-wheel trailer for sale which would suit our needs for a more permanent winter home. We worked out a deal that very day, but we couldn’t fully pay for the trailer until we closed on the sale of our Michigan sober living house. We drove away thinking the deal would be in limbo, but fifteen minutes later, the manager called to say a small downpayment would hold the trailer for us. We said thank you Lord and signed the deal.

When we returned that October, we were fully convinced that God wanted us in Bullhead City at that park. We visited some churches and eventually found one we believe is God’s place for us. We continued looking for opportunities for ministry, but nothing substantial turned up despite putting our several feelers in local ministries. After four years, we decided that we wanted to move back to Michigan as our “permanent” home with travel back to the area as snowbirds in the future. Our Arizona home didn’t sell. For two years. During our fifth year I offered to substitute teach at a local Christian school. They were happy to have me as qualified subs were difficult to come by. I spent a few days in elementary classrooms as a sub and enjoyed it immensely.

At my sub interview they asked me if I would consider teaching full time, and I said no. After I had subbed a few times, the Assistant Principal asked me again if I would like to take a full-time position in the coming fall. I said no. Again. A couple weeks later, as I was filling out my pay voucher he asked again. I said I just didn’t see how it could work. We were going to Michigan for the summer with numerous plans that could not be changed, and I couldn't imagine how I could make it to a teaching job in August. Shortly after that, I received an email from the Assistant Principal telling me that there would be several openings in the fall, and he wanted to know if I would consider taking one.

At that point, I looked at my wife and asked if we were missing something. Was this God telling us why we were still in Bullhead? We both shrugged, sighed and resigned; this must be why we have been kept here by God. I said I would take a position but there were certain limitations to my availability throughout the summer. I was granted exceptions and offered a contract. When I received my contract, I looked at the salary offering; I had not even considered salary as a factor. I had to lift my jaw off the floor. I had agreed to offer my services as a teacher because I believed that was what God wanted. God, in His inimitable way, would bless us for being obedient to His call.

This has been primarily an autobiographical post. I told this personal story because I believe it has application to many of my fellow believers. I have written several articles over the years about how to know God’s will for us individually. Sometimes it is crystal clear; sometimes it is not. The main idea in what I have written and taught in the past is that we should pray, study the Scripture, and press on knowing that God is in control. Take the next step; as I wrote recently, roll the dice. Our Sovereign will fold our decisions into His will in miraculous ways. (Sidebar: a teacher at my new school has just taken National Institute for Learning Disabilities (NILD) training for helping struggling learners. My wife is a certified NILD therapist. Huh?)

Letting go and letting God take control of my life has always been difficult for me. You too? In my head I know that it is as Isaiah said, “My ways [God’s ways] are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” It still takes a Herculean effort on my part to let go. My flesh wants to rule. This experience has given my wife and I a large-as-life example of what it means to live in the Spirit, to be led by the Spirit. I get it. I’m down with that. But, when I realize that means getting up at 5:00 on weekday mornings, I ask myself, “What were you thinking!?”

Related Posts: Forget Not His Benefits; The Meaning of Sovereignty; Be Careful How You Pray; What’s Your Ministry; Mounting Everest; Grace Realized