The Virgin Shall Conceive

The question of how the birth of Jesus came about is common at this time of year. I don’t mean the King James version from the Gospel of Matthew, “This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about.” The idea that Mary was pregnant without the cover of marriage is not hard to believe. People generally have no problem with the idea that Matthew and Mary had to travel to Bethlehem to partake in the census. Government intervention in private family events is well understood. What troubles some of us who believe that Mary was a virgin is precisely how the pregnancy was initiated.

First, I want to confirm that it is absolutely necessary that Mary be a virgin. If Joseph or any other human male was the sperm donor, Jesus’ mission would have been doomed from the beginning. Since the Father had sent the Son to pay the ransom price for the entire human race, the Son could not have sin of His own to pay for. Every human born since the Garden of Eden is born in Adam’s lineage. What that means is that all humans are under the curse of Adam which is separation from God. So, if Jesus were born in Adam’s line, He would not be the spotless lamb, the sinless man to take others’ sin.

This situation necessitated a unique birth. The subject who was to take the punishment for the sin of all mankind could not be born of Adam. However, the subject had to be a representative human to pay the human price for Adam’s disobedience. This is the dilemma: how could there be a human who was not “human” for the purposes of sacrifice? We are told that God accomplished this with language that is open to interpretation.

When Mary asked how she could be pregnant, never having “known a man” meaning she was a virgin, the angel from God said, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God.” That is Luke’s version. Matthew has the angel from God tell Joseph, “that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.” Mark doesn’t mention it and John simply says, “The Word [the eternal Son of God] became flesh.” None of these explanations satisfies the curious mind. Not mine anyway.

Given the necessity that Jesus be outside Adam’s line, I am compelled to ask how God accomplished that when He used Mary, clearly a human from Adam’s line. Two explanations arise. Commonly, theologians have declared that since lineage was accounted through paternity (the father’s line), Mary’s lineage was not important if she was a virgin. The Holy Spirit was the “father,” and Adam’s line was interrupted. This is satisfying for most people.

I am more inquisitive than most people. I have always wondered if the Holy Spirit introduced a non-Adamic sperm into Mary’s egg thus avoiding Adam’s parentage. This could work legalistically, but it is not fully satisfying. Mary’s Adamic nature is still in half the Messiah’s DNA. There is a second possible explanation. I admit I am far beyond biblical confirmation, but I propose a possible alternative. What if the Holy Spirit did an “in vitro” fertilization, placing a fertilized egg or an embryo into Mary’s womb? In this way, God would have completely avoided the cursed Adamic line.

I find possible support for this in the Greek text that explains what happened. The Gospel of Matthew comes closest to describing what happened. Joseph is told that, “Mary was found to have [something] in her womb from the Holy Spirit.” (Matthew 1:20) The simplest explanation of this is that Holy Spirit deposited in Mary’s womb a creation from God which met the requirements of being human yet not being from Adam’s corrupted line. Paul calls Jesus the “second Adam.” Since God formed the first Adam of earthly materials (the dust), could He not form the second Adam from whatever materials met the criteria?

All of this may have dulled your happy Christmas spirit, but I hope not. God’s ways are not our ways, clearly. Yet, He wants us to know that what He does is righteous, holy. God did not violate His justice when He placed the sin of all mankind on His only-begotten son. The Son had to be a spotless sacrifice. The sacrifice had to be something special.

I could be wrong. I am not presenting this theory as a biblical fact. I am suggesting what I have reasoned could be a way to reconcile the need for a sinless Savior with the fact that He was born of a human parent. When you look at the manger this Christmas, bow in reverence to a God who accomplished for us what we could not do ourselves. That is the message of Christmas. I don’t know how He did it, I simply rejoice that He did. Hallelujah! And Merry Christmas.

Why The Shack is Dangerous

“And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light." (2 Corinthians 11:14)

Google The Shack and you will see what a heresy in the making looks like. Amazon says it is the Pilgrim’s Progress for this generation. Wikipedia calls The Shack a Christian novel. On his own web site, William Paul Young, the author of The Shack, describes himself as a theologian and recommends another book he wrote, Lies We Believe About God, as a more systematic exposition of his theology. There is no question that Young believes The Shack reveals the truth about God. Sadly, Young is telling an old lie: God loves everybody too much to punish them for their sin.

One expects to find God misrepresented in secular writing and in texts from other religions. In Star Wars, George Lucas, for example, presents the Force as having a dark side/light side, Yin/Yang character as in Eastern mysticism. Lucas confuses the omnipresence of the true God with the pantheism of most Eastern religions. He depersonalizes the God of the Bible making Him an impersonal force. The Lucas movies are fun to watch, and one may even come to understand the biblical view of God better by doing a little comparison and contrast study.

But no one thinks Lucas intended to reveal truth about the God of the Bible. This is precisely what Young thinks he is doing in The Shack; he says so on his web site. The very reason the book was supposedly written makes this clear: he wanted to explain God to his child. This is why The Shack qualifies as heresy, while Star Wars is simply secular fiction. There are a few Christians who have attempted to find a picture of God in Star Wars, but you won’t find it in many church libraries. In contrast, Young’s book probably is on the shelf of whatever church Rob Bell has landed at. Its message would go well with the Schulerism at the Crystal Cathedral. It sells the seeker-friendly message that warm, fuzzy theology peddles.

The people who defend Young’s incorrect theology claim he is simply emphasizing one aspect of God’s character. They claim that God does not love us because we follow His rules, nor does He reject us when we don’t. This is partly true, and it is the “partly” that makes it heretical. God does love us in spite of our sin; that part is true. The whole truth is that our relationship with God is not based on what we have done (or not done) but on Whom we have believed. What The Shack fails to say is that we enter a saving relationship with God through the narrow door of the Cross. Absent the Cross, there is no gospel. Absent the biblical Cross, there is no possible relationship with God.

Young’s treatment of the Cross comes from what is known as universalism. This means that everyone was “saved” when Christ paid the price for sin on the cross. The god figure in The Shack says that there is no need to punish people for their sin; sin itself is its own punishment. Again, this is partly true: “the wages of sin is death,” (Romans 3:23) and sometimes the “death” begins to take its toll in life. Where Young’s theology goes wrong is in denying the need for faith and obedience. Sin does not simply make life on earth a little more difficult, it makes life in heaven impossible. And those who do not go the Cross and surrender everything in faith are doomed to an eternity in hell. That is what the Bible teaches.

If you want to know what good Christian fantasy looks like, read C.S. Lewis’ The Narnia Chronicles.Lewis took great pains to write an allegorical fiction that perfectly mirrors the truth presented in the Scripture. There may be others as good as Lewis, but I am not aware of them. It is the duty of a believer to read anything with a discerning mind to see if it aligns with Scripture, the only infallible guide to truth. When something pretends to be about the God of the Bible, but is not true to Scripture, it is heresy. It is dangerous heresy when it gets as widely circulated as The Shack, and doubly dangerous when it is so close to the truth that even sincere Christians can be fooled. But as I said, the enemy of our souls has eons of practice deceiving God’s elect. Don’t be fooled: The Shack is dangerous.

A Route 66 Adventure

Trip Log: Twin Lake, Michigan to Mesquite, Nevada.

We left Twin Lake in the rain and dark about 8:00 a.m. on Monday, December 14. After a quick stop at McDonald’s for breakfast, we hit the highway. It continued to rain off and on all day, and the wind picked up out of the southwest eventually blowing hard on the nose – so much for the fuel mileage. We slid across 80-94 in Indiana to I-65 south.

Being Good Sam Club members, we have a substantial discount when we use the Flying J/Pilot fuel card, so we were planning the trip around that brand as much as possible. The first fuel stop was in Dimwiddie (cute name), Indiana so that we would have enough fuel to make it across Illinois. At Roselawn we left the “big road” behind to cut across to Kankakee, Illinois. There we grabbed I-57 south to Champaign, and then I-70 west. We had chosen not to take the time to find Route 66 in Illinois, although there are a number of interesting sounding sites. We wanted to get to a spot where we could hook up the trailer and de-winterize in preparation for living aboard.

We spent the first night shivering in Cahokia, Illinois (suburb of East St. Louis) at an “urban” campground nestled among freight yards and commercial properties. It was colder on our first night out than when we left Michigan. (This would be a portent of worse to come.)  I wouldn’t recommend Cahokia RV Parque as a destination, but the Sawmill BBQ restaurant on-site is fabulous. We shared a half-rack and a couple sides and were very pleased: yum! If I am ever driving through the area at mealtime in the future, I would make this stop again just for the ribs. It’s really easy-off easy-on from the Interstate.

After a side-trip to a park where we could snap a picture of the Arch, we headed across the Mighty Mississippi into St. Louis, Missouri. We chose to skip a number of downtown Route 66 options in favor of a west side beginning. We connected with Route 66, “The Mother Road” in the suburbs and found it underwhelming for many miles – the Route 66 corridor is four-lane stop-and-go commercial for miles and miles. Nothing to see here, so at Gray Summit we reconnected with I-44 and skipped down to Cuba, MO.

The town of Cuba has some really neat murals on many buildings and a fully restored Phillips 66 station. Taking a left onto the Route again, we went to Fanning for a look at the world’s largest rocking chair (according to Guinness – the record book, not the stout). There’s also a neat mural on the shop there.

From the giant chair we continued down Route 66 into St. James. We had hoped to visit the wine museum at Rosati, but they were closed for the season. The winery/tasting room at St. James was open, however, and we found two cool Route 66 hats to add to the collection (there may have been a bottle or two of wine purchased as well).

Because the sun was getting low, we jumped back on I-44 and boogied down to Sarcoxie, MO for a stop at the Beagle Bay RV Park. We got in after the office was closed, but the owner gave us all the help we needed over the phone, so we set up for the night. We considered a fire under the stars, but the bed sounded better, so we packed it in for night two.

Day three may be one of my favorites. From Joplin, MO we took the Mother Road into Kansas, the state with the dubious distinction of having the fewest miles of Route 66. They may be few, but they are loaded with interesting attractions. My favorite was the town of Galena. The people have embraced their 66-ness in a big way. Besides having a quaint downtown restored to 30-ish style, there is a gas station on the outskirts with the truck that inspired film-maker, John Laseter, to create Tow Mater for the movie CARS.

The very friendly owner of the coffee shop in town told us that Baxter Springs, just down the Route, was the inspiration for CARS’ Radiator Springs and a local character who can turn his feet completely backwards gave Lasseter the idea to have Tow Mater run in reverse much of the time. He also told us to look for the Field of Dreams ballpark built for that movie when we headed into Oklahoma.

Because we were headed for a lakeside campground for the night, we wanted to get in early enough to enjoy the sunset (at four-something), so we bypassed the Route and made our way down I-44 to the 66 cut-off into Arcadia, Oklahoma. The City of Edmond keeps a really nice campground on Lake Arcadia where we pulled into a shoreline site just in time to watch the sun set over the lake while enjoying a couple adult beverages.

Night four in Arcadia was our first time without a full hook-up site, so I attempted to fill the water tank on our way in. As it happens, this was the first time we tried to use the on-board water supply, and I proved myself not up to the task. I connected the hose to what I thought was the filler and pumped away merrily until I thought we had enough for the night. When we switched the pump on, however, it spit and sputtered nothing but pink foamy winterizing antifreeze. This was fitting in a way since the temperature was dropping fast outside.

Thinking something was wrong with the system, we called a Shasta dealer in Oklahoma City in the morning and arranged for a service stop. What I learned was embarrasing; I had connected the water hose to the black water flush-out instead of the fresh water fill. Once they actually filled the tank, the system functioned perfectly. Looking back, my stupidity may have saved us a broken water line because there was heavy frost on the windshield that morning. Water in the trailer lines might have frozen overnight had they been filled. I often repeat the saw that God watches over fools and Englishmen, and I am both.

Leaving Okla City, we took I-40 to Elk City, Oklahoma where the National Route 66 Museum is located. Our guide book said this was a must-see, and we agree. Whereas every hamlet and town along the Route claims some kind of museum, the one at Elk City is worth the price of admission ($4 for seniors). They have four different subject specific buildings and a restored (transported) town square from the Mother Road heyday. If it hadn’t been snowing (that’s right, snowing), we would have spent more time. As it was, we wanted to get on the road and find the warmth we were snow-birding for.

With time and distance in mind, we climbed back on I-40 and headed for Amarillo, Texas. Worried about freezing water lines (again), we wanted a full hook-up site to get heat in the trailer to protect the lines. I ran the generator outside with a space heater under the trailer and furnace cooking inside, so we made it through the night. For dinner we ate at The Big Texan, following the theme of “giant alerts” in our guide book. As a bonus, they had a shuttle that took us right from our site in Amarillo RV Ranch to the restaurant. Everything there was big, including the prices, but the food was excellent, and the atmosphere was worth a couple extra bucks. (If you can eat 72 ounces of steak and all the trimmings in one hour, they will give it to you for free.)

 But what a disappointment: here we’re in Texas and freezing. The forecast for our next stop in Albuquerque was still sadly cold, so we shelved the Route 66 plans and decided to make a run for the thaw. We hit the road on that fifth day around 8 a.m. and I drove pretty much straight through until 2 a.m. Saturday when we hit Kingman, Arizona and temperatures above freezing. Because Route 66 parallels I-40 very closely, we did see a number of the sites mentioned in our guide book right from the Interstate. This was not exactly what we planned, but then neither was the temperature.

We slept in the Petro Truck Stop until 8 a.m. and had breakfast at the Iron Skillet; as truck stop restaurants go, this isn’t too bad in my experience. With breakfast over and a souvenir cactus garden in hand, we fueled up and headed up Arizona  Route 93 to Las Vegas, Nevada. We had to leave the remainder of Route 66 for another trip, since our final destination was calling us “home” for the winter. We slid past Hoover Dam and Las Vegas in a final run to Mesquite, Nevada, and pulled into Desert Skies RV Resort around 2 p.m. Mountain Time (we think).

 We are on the Time Zone and state border; Arizona is Mountain Time and Nevada is Pacific. The park we are in is literally ON the border of Arizona and Nevada, so we are setting our clocks to Pacific time to coordinate with the town where we will be shopping and dining  when Karen says the menu reads “Reservations.” As I write this, the clock says 4:20 (no jokes, please) and the sun is setting. We had a great adventure on the Mother Road, but missed enough to make another attempt worth trying. Maybe next year.

Outdoor Education Appeal

Full disclosure: this is a fund raising appeal. I belong to an organization called the Muskegon Environmental Research and Education Society (MERES). We operate the Muskegon Lake Nature Preserve on the east end of the lake. MERES has been working on the Preserve for almost twenty years, and we now want to sharpen our focus and broaden our appeal.

First some history: anyone who has been around Muskegon for long remembers when the Port City Princess used to dock on Lake Ave in North Muskegon. There was a boat launch ramp and a bait shop there for quite a few years. Just east of there was a piece of lakeshore where road crews, foundries and unidentified citizens dumped their rubbish. In 1996 the effort to reclaim the dump was begun by a group of dedicated visionaries. The beautiful Preserve people enjoy today is the result of years of committed volunteer work and generous financial support by individuals and groups who caught the vision of the early pioneers.

Those men and women who built the Preserve understood the value of an outdoor experience. I was fortunate to have a father who built us a family cottage on a lake where we could enjoy the Michigan water wonderland. He took me salmon fishing and deer hunting and sailing and passed on his love of the outdoors. I also had the pleasure of roaming the fields and woods around our suburban home. There are many young people right here in Muskegon who are not as lucky as I was. My wife taught in a local school district where many of her sixth graders had never seen Lake Michigan, let alone gone sailing or fishing.

The latest research shows that children who regularly experience the outdoors in a meaningful way are healthier and happier. It is not uncommon after a day in the outdoor classroom at the Preserve to hear young students remark that it was the best day of their life. Environmental education is not just enjoyable, it is essential to maintain a force for conservation and preservation in the next generation. A day at the Preserve sparked an interest in one young lady that carried through to a career in environmental education. Many others simply learn that peace and tranquility can be found by stepping into a small bit of nature preserved for their benefit.

This is our cause; this is why MERES exists. We have been able to do this for thousands of people, young and old, every year for two decades. Now we want to do more. Many people who enjoy the Muskegon Lake Nature Preserve think it is a public park funded by public dollars. Only a few of those who experience the Preserve and the River Walk realize that it is completely funded by donations.

To move to the next level of service to the community, we need to build an endowment fund that will allow us to maintain what we have and broaden our outreach. Our goal is to have sufficient funds to keep the outdoor education programs at the Preserve and the River Walk functioning and to construct an education center which will help us bring more programs to the people of Muskegon County. We want to see the realization of the vision of one of the early supporters who said the project could be, “a jewel in West Michigan.”  We have the stone in the setting; now we just need your help to polish it to gleaming brilliance.

To make a donation, visit the MERES website.

  http://www.muskegonlakenaturepreserve.org/

Everybody Knows That

June is approaching fast, the month of weddings. Everybody knows that. But did you know there are some interesting theories to explain June’s popularity. According to the Examiner, one says it goes back to the Roman custom of honoring the God of marriage, Juno. Another says it is the most practical month in an agrarian society because the inevitable first child will not be far enough along to hinder the mother from helping get in the first harvest for the new family. One of the most curious says that during Medieval times May was the time of the annual bath, so a June wedding assured all concerned would smell their best. (Agh!)

The Examiner goes on to reveal that June is being edged out by August if you can believe Hallmark Cards’ statistics. (Don’t let me get started on the outrageous price of greeting cards.)There are other traditions associated with marriage that are equally arcane and equally baffling to me, but then I am still just a guy (cue Brad Paisley). If you add up the cost of the traditional elements in the modern, Western wedding, you have a budget-buster. Cost of Wedding.com reports that the average wedding in the US costs $25,200.

Not surprisingly, the largest expense is the venue with its associated accoutrements, catering and rentals. Couples spend over $3,600 on average just for a place to say, “I do.” Add a $500 for a cake and another $4,700 for dinner and you are quickly approaching ten grand. That’s before you add $100 for each of the tuxedo rentals and $1,200 for the bride’s gown. Top it off with the obligatory wedding photographer at $1,600 and 10K is gone. The web site lists fifty (50) other items that commonly appear in the expense column of the average wedding. Fifty.

At the risk of sounding completely tone-deaf to the cries of all those brides-to-be and their mothers, I would like to offer some suggestions for trimming the cost of the blessed event (Wait; that refers to something later, doesn’t it.) For the venue, since not everyone lives on a farm with a giant barn anymore, renting a church is a good option, especially if a religious ceremony is being planned. In West Michigan, churches can be rented for under $500, many being free to members.

A wedding dress is just about the most impractical item a woman could ever buy. It is intended to be worn only once; it glamorizes the one person who is already the star of the event; by the wedding day, there is no need to impress the guy (still a guy) standing at the head of the aisle. Incidentally, I feel the same way about “prom” dresses. If something uniquely special is essential, there are rentals available, but even that is money thrown away. A nice rig that can be worn to dress-up affairs after the wedding makes a whole lot more sense to me. And let the guys wear their “Sunday best” and let it go at that.

With all due apologies to my dear friend, Kirk, who makes his living as a photographer, are the wedding photos that get put in an album and parked on a shelf really worth $1,600? If one family member or guest knows how to operate a digital SLR, a few portraits of the bride and groom and maybe one of the wedding party can be taken and sent to Walgreens for enshrinement in a lovely binder at one tenth of the cost. For some great additional memories, place a disposable camera at each table and invite your guests to offer their photographic impressions.

If a sit-down dinner must be part of the event (as a kindness to attendees who are far from home), why not make it a pot luck? Everyone who lives close enough to participate in this very homely tradition can bring a dish and supply the recipe so the bride has a start on her own box of favorites. I know I am getting into some really wet sand here, but the real tradition of marriage is the celebration of community; what better way for the community to honor the new couple than with something homemade and helpful?  

Maybe you think that talking about average costs is unrealistic since the million dollar weddings weigh against the under $100 justice of the peace affairs. Consider then that the median number, the cost most couples incur, is still $10,000. What good might be accomplished by a believer with that amount of money? Meals From the Heartland packages meals to ship to hungry people around the world at a cost of about twenty cents per meal. Ten grand would feed an entire village of 500 people for over three months… or 22 families of six for a year. Or your diverted wedding expense could dig 277 wells to provide safe water for people in Africa. Get together with four of your soon-to-be-wed friends and pool your savings and support one overseas missionary for a whole year. Etcetera ad infinitum.

If this whole topic has been distasteful to you, post a reply below and tell me how you would defend the expense of an extravagant wedding. If this topic has made you rethink your plans for an upcoming event, share it with your friends. Christians believe that our possessions are not our own; how we spend our money is the truest expression of our faith. But everybody knows that.

Slip-slidin' Away

The first real winter weather has hit West Michigan, and once again, it seems like everyone has forgotten how to drive on slippery roads. Is it really that hard to remember to slow down and leave lots of extra space between you and the car you are following? Really? The people who end up on the curb or in the ditch all seem to have the same surprised look on their faces. They can't all be from Florida experiencing their first winter drive.

Then there are those people in their four-wheel-drive vehicles. (Full disclosure: I drive one.) Apparently they imagine that having all the wheels driving the car makes the laws of physics void. Not so much. It doesn't matter how many wheels put power to the road, once the accelerator is released and brakes are applied, all vehicles are more or less equal. If the road surface is slippery, braking becomes a matter of how well the car/driver can modulate the slowing of the wheel rotation. Anti-lock brakes are a wonderful invention (when they work), and they work independently of the drive mechanics: 4WD, AWD, FWD, RWD will all skid if too much brake is applied.

Stopping on slippery roads is more or less equal between all vehicles of the same weight. Physics again dictate that a heavier vehicle will take longer to stop than a lighter vehicle; it's all about inertia and mass and other such inevitability. Good tires, bad tires, any number of drive wheels on either end of the car all skid according to the inertia and mass involved. Once a wheel has stopped turning (definition of "skid"), the laws of physics are driving and the human driver is helpless. The only way to increase traction is with studs which are illegal for us everyday folks.

While it might feel safer in a big, heavy vehicle, it is not often the case. If you are in the one hitting another vehicle which is lighter than yours, there is a small advantage. If you are hit by a smaller vehicle there is a similar small advantage. But in all other cases, size doesn't matter. If you hit an immovable object like a tree or bridge abutment, the deciding factors will be your own weight and the safety measures installed and functioning. The airbags and seat belts will help prevent injuries, but every body in a car that suddenly stops will continue to move at the previous speed until it hits something, large car or small.

If it seems like I have turned into a driver ed instructor, it may help to know that I am one, rather, I was once. So what has Heaven to do with this. The laws of physics apply to believers as well as the rest of the population. However, I believe we have the advantage of a sovereign God who cares about even our slippery commute to work, or church, or shopping, or wherever. What this means to me is not that I can speed along oblivious to conditions, but that I need not panic when black ice is more prevalent than tarmac.

If I end up in a ditch, it is because my Lord wanted me there for some reason. It may be to teach me humility regarding His physical laws related to friction. It may be that I need to witness to the tow truck driver who will pull me out. It may be that He parked me there so I would not be in the 247 car pile-up that I would have encountered. I don't know. And I don't care. I trust Him. When I was driving for a living, people used to ask if I wasn't stressed out by having to drive thousands of miles every week in bad weather. My answer has always been, "No. I trust the Lord I serve to take care of me -- no matter the weather."

This same attitude should apply to all the risks we face in our dark and dangerous world. Nothing can overtake us that is not under the watchful eye of the Creator, Sustainer, Completer God. No terrorist, mugger, stalker, geo-physical or weather demon can thwart the plans God has for us. That even has to apply when any of the above seem to overtake us; they are not in control; God is.  Peter and John proved this when they led the hymn-sing in prison. My advice is to tune in to some good music and slow down; enjoy the drive and the everlasting arms in which you drive. It's my belief that you can never slip out of those arms once you are in them, no matter how slippery the road may be.

How to Watch Television (3)

The third in a series. (Browse titles for other installments.)

My previous installment in this series discussed some of the physical components of responsible TV watching. This time I want to get more cerebral and spiritual. Probably the best thing anyone could do would be to disable the cable and dump the dish. No one really needs TV in the same way one needs food and shelter, yet it has become such an integral part of life in this age that going without it is so rare as to be surprising when someone admits it. Eyebrows rise and jaws drop when someone says there is no TV in the house. I frankly admire that person.

However, most of us are going to keep the box babbling away, so I have some suggestions for fine tuning TV watching so that it more closely follows the Scriptural injunctions I mentioned last time: setting our minds on things above and making good use of our time. The first suggestion is so obvious that I shouldn’t have to say it, but experience teaches that it must be said: don’t watch the filthy stuff. I am not referring to the so called adult programming some providers offer; that is obviously unhealthy. I am thinking of certain dramas and sitcoms that present blatantly unwholesome situations as standard fare, and which do nothing to indicate that the behaviors and situations are anything but normal. We should not find lying, cheating, promiscuity and adultery entertaining. WWJD? Change channels.

I am not suggesting that any presentation of inappropriate behavior is cause to bolt. Certainly education and entertainment have always been a part of watching other people mess up. The criterion for judging whether bad behavior is good entertainment is the outcome presented by the drama. If we see a marriage fall apart because of one spouse’s infidelity or a student lose an opportunity as a result of being caught cheating, we learn an important lesson. Even when we don’t see immediate consequences for bad behavior, if we are thinking Christianly, we will realize that although the wicked do often seem to prosper, a day of reckoning is ahead of us all. Do not envy the wicked, the Proverbs warn; their day is coming.

Besides using TV time to adjust our moral compasses, we can also use it to prompt prayer. My sister once told me that every time she heard a siren she would stop and say a short prayer over the situation. It should be a natural reaction to a news bulletin regarding a house fire to pray for the family: their immediate well-being; their physical needs for replacement housing and material goods; the comfort of friends and family; that God would somehow be glorified in the tragedy. The reports coming out of Syria should have us all praying daily for the Christians there: for their safety and their witness. Any mention of our military should prompt prayer for those we know in service and those we don’t know but benefit from every day they serve.

TV dramas can be just as fruitful in providing prayer prompts. When I see a portrayal of a couple struggling in their marriage, I am reminded of someone in my church going through similar difficulties. When someone gives in to temptation, I can say a prayer of thanks that God delivers me from something or that a friend might have the strength to overcome his trials. When I watch depictions of life on today’s school campuses, I offer a prayer of protection for my grand children. My point is that we can find ways to turn most situations into prayers if we are sensitive to the needs around us.

I should say here that I am not opposed to occasionally sitting in front of a game or drama just for escape. Watching the Tigers or the Red Wings or those goofballs on Top Gear, for example, as a down-time pastime is fine if it is not all the time. If you are anywhere near the national average I cited in the first installment of this series (34 hours/week,) it would be irresponsible to use it all as down-time. Try this thought experiment: if you learned today that you have one week left to live, how much TV would you watch? Since none of us knows how much time we have, shouldn’t that always be the computation?

Hilariously Content

Today I am taking a vacation from politics and theology.

 

I have recently stumbled upon a delightful show on BBC America called Top Gear. The show is a cross between Myth Busters and the Keystone Kops. The word that seems best to describe the three co-hosts is jovial, and their antics with automobiles would be called irregular if one was being kind. Nonetheless, it is a hoot. Watching the show I regularly end up with pain at the base of my skull from continuous, tear-inducing laughter.  (Is that normal, or just me?)

 

One segment of the show involves brief product reviews of automobiles and related paraphernalia. In keeping with the general irreverent mood, one can expect something more entertaining than what Consumer’s Report might offer to say the least. For example, a recent comparison between the Porsche Boxter and Mercedes Benz SLK55 AMG involved racing through an abandoned village in which members of the British Army were prepared to “ambush” the fleeing driver. Naturally, rather than live ammunition modern electronic “bullets” registered hits on the driver’s vest a la Laser tag. If memory serves, the Benz won by allowing the driver to escape with fewer hits.

This is decidedly not the way most people would choose to test a high priced, high powered open touring car, but that is precisely why Top Gear keeps me coming back. It is my escape into laughter. Yet a recent episode did foster a flight of introspection (no surprise to those who know me.) They test drove the new Bentley Continental GT and compared it to the latest model from Ferrari. Not surprisingly, the Italian job felt like a race car made street worthy – barely street worthy. The Continental, on the other hand, came off like a delicious luxury sedan made race worthy – very worthy. To be wrapped in elegant leather and surrounded by fine wood and polished metal while being propelled down the road at incredible speeds is a dream of mine.

I once spent several hours with an American attempt at the luxury sport sedan (emphasis on sport.) I put a little over 100 miles on a Chrysler 300 SRT-8. With a mere 425 horse power, the Chrysler certainly doesn’t compare directly with the 616 British ponies in the Bentley. Nor did the distinctly American leather seats but plastic everything else show like the burled walnut and polished aluminum from the factory in Crewe. There is something to be said for the hand-built car; it makes an impression. But when I mashed the accelerator in the 300 and heard the subtle, yet purposeful roar and felt my back pressed into the leather as I rocketed to 60 in just 4.6 seconds, I felt the same rush I imagine the Bentley would provide. In fact, had a Bentley been racing alongside, I would have beaten it to 60 by three tenths of a second. (The Bentley carries a full ton more luxury in its curb weight.)

The sticker price on the Chrysler I drove was just over forty; the Bentley would be more than four times that. Given my reduced circumstances and slim prospects for the future, I will never have to decide whether to buy the Bentley or the Chrysler (although a good used 300 might come to live with me someday; that or its country cousin the Dodge Magnum SRT-8.) The point I am finally getting to is that I have lately begun to realize the true value of St. Paul’s remark about being content in whatever state one finds oneself. The 257,000 mile ’99 Durango I currently own is rough and rusty, but it has started and conveyed me to and fro in warmth and safety in the sub freezing snowy weather we have been enduring lately. Neither the Bentley nor the Chrysler would do any more than that. Bentley drivers may laugh at that idea. I laugh at Top Gear and motor on in contentment.

I Got Scammed

I got scammed. I thought I had enough experience to avoid the ovbious rip-offs. I was wrong.

I went to a Global Vacation Network presentation in Grand Rapids that promised a free Android tablet to anyone who attended. I have been to several of these vacation and time-share presentations. All of them have delivered the gift they promised. Global Vacations has not -- yet. I submitted my complaint to the Better Business Bureau, but I am not holding my breath. I did not check with the BBB first (as I should have) to learn that there are 191 complaints against Global Vacation Network for not doing what they promise. Caveat emptor.

Right now some of my readers are wondering how someone as intelligent as I could fall for such a scam. I must tell you that I have been the benefactor of many free gifts from similar operations. After winning a free trip to Cancun (many years ago) I sat in a time-share presentation at my beachfront  hotel and walked out with a free sarape and two free lobster dinners. The lobsters were delicious; the sarape lasted many years before it went to the landfill. I found Cancun to be a bore, but it was a free bore. We later spent two free nights in a fine establishment in Petoskey with free dinner and breakfast compliments of another time-share type outfit. There were other "sit and listen" presentations that netted free gifts.

I also bought a vacation package several years ago at one of these events. It sounded like a truly worthwhile investment at the time. In fact we did get good use from it for a couple years, but then my financial situation deteriorated and I was forced to relinquish my "ownership" in the vacation property I had purchased. I do not recommend this as sound financial practice.

I am baring my soul in this way as a warning to others who may be tempted by offers that sound too good to be true. The old saying is true: if it sounds too good to be true it is. Granted, I stumbled into a few dollars worth of something-for-nothing, but statistically the adage holds true. There is no free lunch. Despite the fact that I signed up for Mr. Steak's free trip to Cancun and won, the vast majority (like everybody but me) who entered that drawing lost. Millions of people who bought lottery tickets in the last multi-million dollar lottery lost every penny.

Something deep in the human soul wants something for nothing. Scam artists traffic on that. Whether it is the Michigan state lottery, the nearest Indian casion or the raffle down at the parish, somebody is betting that there will be plenty of people who will lay down good money for a slight (and very slight) chance to get something for (next to) nothing. Do the math. There is no way a casino or travel company or church can offer a "free gift" without having someone pay for it. If you happen to "win," someone or many someones "lost." That's just the way it works.

This may explain why so many people are confused about what the Gospel of Christ really offers. It sounds too good to be true. We are conditioned to think that we have to pay something or do something to earn anything of value. Life generally teaches us that only hard work is rewarded with cash and benefits, so anything worth having requires work. People typically don't do what I did and go to a presentation offering something for free. Most people are smart enough to recognize the scam.

So what's the WHAMM here? There actually is a "free lunch" in one sense of the word. (It isn't really free because Someone paid for it already, but it is free to the current contestant.) A free ticket to heaven has been bought and paid for by the Saviour of the world. Christ redeemed (literally "bought back") anyone who places trust in him for salvation. Winning the next Powerball will only get you a few million dollars a year for life. Life ends. Gaining eternal life from a relationship with Christ gets an eternity of "free" benefits that never end. And you don't have to sit through a time-share presentation. And the liklihood of getting what was promised is better than with Global Vacation Network.

A Modest Proposal (2012)

I have an answer to the divided political situation that plagues America.

Divide. That seems to be the only workable solution in a country where we split almost right down the middle on virtually all the fundamental issues we face. Both parties say there must be compromise to get anything done, but neither wants to make any real concessions to reach an agreement. Obama's idea of compromise is Republicans agreeing to his agenda. The Republican efforts at compromise tend to look like the George W. Bush era which, frankly, was satisfying to neither conservatives nor liberals.

Why not just give up on the idea that we need to remain fifty united states? Who says fifty is a magic number anyway. Have you looked at the electoral map of the last election? Geography doesn't really matter that much in our digital age, but for convenience sake, we could remain pretty contiguous in the new nation (under God) I propose. The "other guys" would be splintered and scattered, but that seems poetically justifiable. (Click this link to see my map.)

Most of  the current states that are equally divided can be partitioned easily. Virginia lets D.C. annex the surrounding counties. Pennsylvania can split somewhere between the I-76 and I-80 corridors. Ohio could do the same using I-70 and I-80. Michigan just gives the south east counties to North Ohio. They wanted that land back in the Toledo War anyway, so let them have it. (I would let them take everything west to Lansing if they wanted, although I know some State fans who would object.) We may have to continue the division across northern Indiana and Illinois even though I realize that cuts off West Michigan (my new home state) from her sisters to the south. I could live with that since I am not giving up the entire Great Lakes to the other guys. Add parts of Iowa and pretty much all of Wisconsin and Minnesota and you have the tier complete.

Moving out west, I suspect if division fever really strikes, there might be three different countries along the coast. Seattle is so distinctly different from San Francisco which is different from San Diego that I don't see them making nice. Oregon would probably go along with Washington, but I don't know the politics there well enough to predict. I would love to see San Diego vote with our side; they have the best weather anywhere and that would give us a Pacific seaport. This would be contiguous with the southern tier also. I wouldn't complain if Nevada went with the rest of the left coast fruitcakes; gambling and deserts would be no loss.

So there you have it. I know it gets a little sloppy with my insistance on keeping West Michigan and the U.P. in our camp. There are doubtless hundreds of other similar issues buried in my simplistic division of states with which I am unfamiliar. I don't care. This is what I call compromise. As for the names of these two new nations, I propose the Central States of America for our side and the Discontinuous Democratic Socialist Atheist Union of Like-minded Liberals for their side. Or they can pick their own name.

They can have the Navy and the Marines and the Coast Guard; we will take the Army and the Air Force. They can have the paper dollar and we will go back on the gold standard. We will keep Old Glory and they can have the LGBT flag or whatever they want. We will declare English the official language of our country, but we will universally teach Spanish as a second language in our schools and invite everyone to assimilate into our traditional American culture. We will keep the borders open with the DDSAULL (or whatever they choose to call themselves,) but we will close the border with Mexico and invite everyone who lives in our territory to become citizens with all the rights and privileges and responsibilities pertaining thereto.

Any citizen who can pass a rigorous background check (parameters to be decided) can carry a weapon openly or concealed. All religions will be free to practice as they wish, but the Bible will be brought back into schools and used as a moral foundation for all students. Prayer to whatever God one chooses will be welcomed. Homosexual practices will be treated the same as smoking or alcohol abuse; these behaviors create unwanted health problems and shorten life expectancy and as such should be warned against, not promoted. This is not a moral judgment; it is a general welfare consideration.

We will have no IRS. Revenue will be generated by a consumption tax on all purchases except groceries. Manufacturers will pay the tax on capital expenditures but not raw materials (trying to avoid double taxation.) Deficit spending and government borrowing will be illegal; all spending will be based on projection of revenue. All government entities will be required to operate under a balanced budget which will be submitted prior to the fiscal year for which it applies. Medicare and Social Security allotments will be deducted from revenue on a per capita actuarial basis and placed in escrow from which payments will be made. A separate fund will be established for paying present citizens already receiving payments.

As for foreign policy, we will not join the United Nations. We will seek friendly relations with any nation that wishes to deal openly and honestly with us and their own people. We will not have military bases in any other nations unless they invite us and pick up at least half the tab. The same deal goes for defending our allies. If they can't put up at least half of their own defense, we will not help them fight their battles. Fair trade treaties will be welcomed with any nation that applies.

There it is. I know this has been a rant: what I would do if I were king of the world. I needed this. After last Tuesday, I needed this. It was fun to think about. Could it ever happen? You tell me.

Plain and Simple

The other night my wife and I watched a movie called The 19th Wife, a tale based on events which occurred in a Mormon sect which still practices polygamy. It was broadcast on Lifetime (yes, I sometimes watch chic-flicks,) so the theme was the degrading of women trapped in polygamist societies. I was fascinated by the twisted theology, but really struck by the representation of the close-knit family structures (common among all Mormons) and the modest dress of the women.

Living in the Midwest, I am used to seeing the Amish in their buggies or on the streets, men in plain shirts with black trousers and women in pale blue or grey full-length dresses with long sleeves and high collars. These women stand out in modern western society, as do some Mormons, as fashion iconoclasts. More radically, Arab women, regulars on the nightly news these days, appear almost alien in their burkas. I am not a sartorial historian, but it seems that women in “civilized” societies have always appeared in public dressed in what I would call modest attire. ( I am consciously ignoring bare-breasted Polynesians and naked African bushwomen.)

The evolution of epidermal exposure in women took place quite rapidly. In less than one generation, roughly thirty years, they went from mostly covered to nearly naked. On the beaches and at poolside from the late 1960’s onward, women brazenly dress in small patches of cloth that would have brought about an arrest for indecent exposure scant decades ago. In modern media we get treated to displays of feminine flesh everywhere from the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders to the Victoria Secret runway exhibitions. The early TV censors must be rolling in their graves.

Having raised two daughters and lived with one wife through the worst of the feminist unleashing, I continue to be troubled by what we Christians accept in women’s attire. I am a typical male (I think) in that I admit to finding the female form a pleasure to look at. I also know enough phychopathology to understand that erotic exposure is like an addictive drug: what starts with a little peek must ultimately descend into leering at complete display. Frequently pornography leads to criminal acts against women by frustrated men. No, not every Playboy subscriber ends up a rapist, but nearly every rapist has a history of pornographic dalliance. Sadly, the “community standards” measure of what is obscene no longer works in my opinion. Community standards have sunk to obscene levels.

Our terrorist enemies are despicable in their tactics, but not so far off in their opinion that modern society has fallen prey to the greater enemy of our souls. I am not lobbying for a return to Amish style dress or burkas for all women. I respect the Amish and Mormons (if not the Arabs) for holding the line on modesty. The Amish and their nineteenth century ways are not going to catch on anytime soon (unless our economy fails completely.) But those of us who hold more traditional beliefs could learn something from the radical fringes of our religions. The Apostle Paul cautioned against using freedom as license. How did we so casually cross that line?

Responsibillity: Take It!

I heard it again over breakfast just last week. It’s the question on so many minds: what’s happening to my country? Where is the America we used to know? The discussion generally turns to another question: who is responsible for the radical changes taking place in the fabric of our republic? The easy answer is to point to Mr. Change B. Obama and his merry band. However, I think this is too simplistic, and perhaps it even approaches the banks of denial.

I am of the opinion that the true cause of our devolution lies closer to home. For at least a couple decades I have been watching the mindset of the baby boomers work its way through our culture and in their offspring. Uber-boomer, Bill Clinton, provides a perfect example. His claim not to have had you-know-what with you-know-whom and then parsing the meaning of “is” when his bogus declamation was discovered is classic. The response of his supporters was purely sycophantic. His behavior formerly would have been called irresponsible; now it is no one’s business but his own.

Whence responsibility for one’s actions? As I write this I am enjoying some vacation time on my boat in a marina. Examples of irresponsibility abound. Loud parties continue past midnight a few feet from the berth where I am trying to sleep. Drunken sailors bounce off boats and docks as they try to return to their slips. The baseball game blares from a set of cockpit speakers blanketing the basin with the play-by-play. Boaters “exercise” their pooches in the grass next to the sign prohibiting dogs. US flags fly unattended through rain, sleet, hail or dark of night.

That last one may have flown over some heads. I feel almost alone in my efforts to show proper respect for the flag of our country. Maybe it is my Boy Scout training or my son and father of a veteran status that makes me more sensitive. Most people respond with a blank stare when asked about flag etiquette. I say if you are going to fly the flag, you are responsible to learn how to show the honor due the colors.

But why am I surprised when Presidents don’t honor their marriage vows; revelers don’t respect the rights of their neighbors; no one seems to care about the stewardship of public places. The lack of knowledge about our founding principles is abysmal. No one should be surprised that our country is slowly slouching towards Gomorrah. We’ve given up caring about so many little things (that really do matter,) it’s no wonder the big things are falling apart at the seams.

Carpe Momentum

There is no such thing as time as we know it. Time is not a substance that can be detected with the senses; it is not even an ephemeral something which we assume exists, but escapes definition. There are no empirical data catalogued in some esoteric library documenting the physical description of time. Time, quite literally does not exist.

Time is a construct which humans have invented to record the passage of events. As far back as the rising of the first sun on the first human being, we have divided our existence into segments. Before mechanical measuring instruments were developed, the passage of the heavenly bodies marked the divisions of time. (More accurately, the rotation of the earth dictated the astral positions.) The Egyptians invented the hour but were unconcerned with its variable nature, lengthening and shortening with the seasons as it did. They were satisfied with twelve periods each of day and night, mindful but not concerned that they were unequal from day to day. The Babylonians became more precise, inventing the first small division of time, the she, which represented a barleycorn-length of the sun’s shadow on a sun dial (3.3 modern seconds.)

Today we have atomic clocks which measure in nanoseconds (one millionth of a second.) We are carefully concerned with infinitesimal distinctions, needing for some reason to track the movement of subatomic particles and electronic computations. Yet we still are no better than Adam and Eve at managing our time. No matter how hard I try, I still run out of time nearly every morning as I prepare to leave the house. Even when I allow myself hundreds of extra barleycorns, I always seem to be rushing to beat the sun to my appointed place on time. The only purpose for time is to keep me cognizant of the fact that there never seems to be enough, unless I am in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles, on which occasion time stands still.

Ultimately, the only time we have is the present moment (or nanosecond.) This moment is entirely contingent on the moment which precedes it. By this I mean that as you sit reading this right now, you exist in the reading moment because you sat down to read in a previous moment. You can see your computer because you approached it in a previous moment. Etcetera ad infinitum. There is no “time past” other than a memory of events arranged in a chronology and stored in either a human brain or some type of mechanical recording device.

If you are still reading this you are undoubtedly one of my dearest friends or else curiosity has compelled you to discover where in heaven’s name I am going with this. Here is my point. The Apostle Paul admonishes Christians to “redeem the time” in his letter to the Ephesian church. Paul was still operating under the adopted Babylonian barleycorn time (Hebrew halakim,) but seems to have understood that time is a unit of commerce that can be bought and sold, metaphorically speaking. Today we most frequently encounter this concept as we consider how most of us make a living. Whether paid by the hour, by the piece or with a salary, we can compute the time “spent” to earn a wage. Less obviously, we speak of “spending” our time in all sorts of unremunerated pursuits.

If time is as I have suggested, merely a chronological arrangement of all the moments in which we exist, every moment dependent on the one which precedes it, then “redeeming the time" means making every moment count. My title plays on the famous phrase, "carpe diem," meaning, "seize the day." The Latin "momentum" speaks of movement, adding urgency to the admonition while echoing the brief nature of our existence in any one moment.

Was the first century apostle advising us to invest every bit of our lives as wisely as possible because he realized that what you do in any given moment affects all the remaining moments of your existence? Did his travel to another dimension (the third heaven) give him a prescient understanding of the space-time continuum? I don't know. I suspect at the very least he would have said, "Make the most of every moment; it's all you have."

No Cost / Lo Cost Gifting

If you're anything like me, you may just have a few people left on your gift list. And, like me, you may have run out of funds before running out of list. I would like to suggest some ways to honor the idea of giving without dishonoring a pledge to avoid excessive credit use.

1. Try creative re-gifting. This is not the same as lazy or rude re-gifting. Think of something you have that is still fully useful to the person in mind, but not something you are likely to use again. Tactfully inform the recipient that you are aware of the used nature of the item, but hope to bless by giving. Some suggestions are: books, tools or appliances, glass ware or basketry, pictures or nic-nacs (no white elephants here.)

2. If you are even the least bit comfortable in the kitchen try something like gifts in a jar. A Google search will net you tons of neat ideas. Many of them require only a small expense.

3. Crank up your Works Task Launcher (or the Mac equivalent) and create a gift certificate for something you can offer that involves giving your time such as: babysitting, household chores, yard work (or shoveling), a meal (you prepare), at-home car washes (or wax.)

4. If you expect to be more well-funded shortly after Christmas and will be able to afford "the perfect gift," cut out a picture or print one from the Internet. Wrap it in a suitable size box (weighted if necessary) and put it under the tree. Be prepared to explain.

5. Arrange for a gift subscription to a magazine the person will truly enjoy. You can do this now and ask the publisher to bill you later. You can usually find these offers in the magazines themselves (check out the newsstand) or at the mag's online site.

6. For a few of you, it may be appropriate to write a poem, paint a picture or create an artistic expression in your chosen medium. Make it personal and you will have given something better than money could buy.

7. For family or close friends, write a note about something that will be important for the person to know. It might start out, "I will always remember when..." or "You will never know how much I appreciated..." If you are a senior member of a family, make a record some meaningful things from your younger days . I regret that I never learned anything about my parents' and grandparents' youth. These stories may be more of a blessing than you realize.