God Wants Me Unhappy

I have been thinking a lot about my own happiness lately, so it is no coincidence that Randy Alcorn’s discussion of happiness slid across my Facebook page recently. God has a way of planting supplements to my devotional diet directly in my path so I can only avoid them on purpose. Many times I have had the subject of print or other media floating in my thought hopper only to find that it is the perfect preparation for a teaching or preaching assignment I am about to be given. It is exciting to work with an omniscient God. I am not yet sure what all this business about happiness is leading to.

When I taught high school students, the subject of God’s will for their lives was a frequent topic of discussion. Since the middle of the 20^th century, Christian teens have had to face numerous life choices that were seldom presented to earlier generations. Do I consider military service? Should I attend college? If so, what career should I pursue? Must it be a Christian college? Should I take on student loans? Who should I marry? Does God want me to get married at all? These are vexing questions to a young person who has been taught that God has a perfect will for each of them, and it is their responsibility to figure out what that will is.

I remember one young man who was horrified with the thought that God might call him to remain unmarried, to be celibate. He believed that sex outside of marriage was clearly forbidden, so marriage was his only hope to satisfy his biological desires. The idea that it might be outside God’s will for him to marry literally gave him many sleepless nights. He could not imagine being happy unless he was married.

I don’t recall the exact words I used to counsel him, but I do remember the general tenor of my advice. First, God will never ask us to do anything for Him that he does not give us the strength to accomplish. Next, God does not reveal His plan for our entire life all at once; that would negate the need to walk by faith which is what builds our trust in Him. The best we can do is take the step that is before us and wait on God to reveal the step after that. As long as we avoid taking steps we know are against God’s revealed will, His personal will for our lives will become clear as we live step by step.

In my recent response to Alcorn’s book, Happiness, I mentioned three of the countless episodes in the Bible that present unhappy servants. Here I might add Abraham who waited unhappily for 25 years for the son of promise only to be told he was to be sacrificed to the God who gave him. Abraham would not have been a happy camper trudging up Mt. Moriah knowing what lay ahead. Happiness came naturally when the angel stopped the knife and a ram appeared in a thicket to take Isaac’s place, but one cannot miss the agony through which Abraham walked as he followed God’s will up that hill. Nor can we miss the same thing when our Substitute walked up that same hill years later. I think Jesus was not happy about the crucifixion; he rejoiced in what it would accomplish, but to call that happiness is to wrench all meaning from the word.

Many of us find ourselves in circumstances that make us unhappy. The high school lad with raging hormones is not the only one who must wait on God’s answer to the burning question. Consider the husband or wife who has lost a spouse to divorce or death. While some may dispute the option of remarriage, none will argue that celibacy is the only righteous option outside of another marriage. Consider the man who, because of medical procedures or health issues, can no longer function normally. It would be comforting to think that the urge dies when the capability ceases, but that is often not the case. Consider the wife of that man. In these and countless other cases unrelated to sex, God’s will leads to unhappiness at least for a time.

There is a statement I probably borrowed, and I think I have posted it here before, but it bears repeating: God is less concerned with our comfort than our character. We are called to conform ourselves to the image of Christ, who for the joy set before him endured the cross (Hebrews 12:2). Endurance builds character; character, biblically defined, is what suits us for heaven.  Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there are few prayers at parties. If my unhappiness makes me more like Christ, I’ll be “happy” to endure it.